My Dear Friend Brenda Diener

In November of 1999 I was going through an incredibly difficult period of my life. In an effort to meet new people I went to a myriad of events, seminars and yes even forced myself to attend a round of Speed Dating where I met an extraordinary person. Nope… not the man of my dreams but a magnificent women who would become one of my closest friends. Brenda was seated at the table to my left and the guys would go from my table to hers. I guess we bonded over a bit of sarcasm and snide remarks as she and I exchanged comments and opinions as each passed through. While neither of us found love we found each other and for that I will always be grateful.

On Saturday March 5th my dear friend Brenda died. A piece of me died too. You see she was my biggest cheerleader. Good friends acknowledge your accomplishments and attributes but great friends actually see them when you don’t and Brenda was always there to point mine out. She commiserated with me, disagreed with me, advised me, consoled me, encouraged me, challenged me, supported me and loved me. Brenda was one of the smartest, feistiest, courageous, lazer light focused, direct, committed, curious, sincere people I’ve ever known. I’m desperately trying to feel the joy of the preverbal cup half full for knowing her rather than the pain of the cup half empty that she’s gone. I know that in time the tears will stop flowing and the sadness will subside but the depth of how she has impacted my life is iindelibly inked into my soul forever.

Brenda actually did meet the love of her life shortly after we met but fortunately for me she still loved a night out at a bar and I served as her perfect wingman and she mine. We had lots of fun, shared many a cocktail….literally I had one, she had two and then I would order another that she would ultimately drink most of. I can picture us at almost every location of the bar at Bandera at one time or another as it was a perfect half way meeting spot for us. With a glance she could easily attract a group of guys to circle us like bees to honey and would flirt harmlessly on my behalf being that I was genuinely single. For her it was all innocent fun and although she enjoyed the attention (who wouldn’t) she really, really wanted me to meet my Mr. Right. Barely more than a week before she died she didn’t miss the chance to express her concern of me being single. I’m reminded of the time she turned to me and said “you know… you can date someone that doesn’t like Jon Stewart or Bill Maher” and I said “uh uh, nope, can’t do it”. Or when she said “you can date someone that voted for Bush, seriously you can’t eliminate half the men in the country” my response…”ok, if they voted for him the 1st time I’ll consider it, but no way if they voted for him twice!”

I think our relationships are a snapshot reflecting who we truly are at our core. A tribute to how amazing Brenda was, she leaves behind a life partner David who has been at her side through a decade long roller coaster ride until her last breath Saturday; Jennifer, a college friend turned business partner who together built a successful business and extended loving, connected family anyone would be envious of, two incredible boys Jordan and Ryan that were the greatest loves of her life, two brothers and a mother whose relationship was so fueled by love, respect & adoration I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes plus a bevy of friends that she touched in a way making each of us feel as if we were the only one and the most special.

I miss my friend Brenda so much and have no doubt she would tell me to stop crying and start a new chapter just like I did back in 1999 when we met. She would tell me to go out and have fun, drink and flirt shamelessly. I wish I could channel her devilish, light hearted, playful spirit and if I could I would raise a glass (of excellent tequila of course) to my dear, beautiful Brenda and say “Brenda, I love you and miss you so much!”

Inez and Bob Part 1

I don't remember life without Inez and Bob. I just always felt like I had two mom's. A black one and a white one, both strong and determined women who taught me life lessons from completely different perspectives. Both faced abundant challenges throughout their lives and together they wove a tapestry of life blending two complete different paths into one forever tied together. With my parents and grandparents all gone, I went to visit Inez and Bob and asked them to share what they remember of my family and took the videos below.

Inez and Bob 2

Inez and Bob 3

Inez and Bob 4

Inez and Bob 5

April 13th 2009 Opening Day Dodger Stadium

Another year, another opening day at Dodger Stadium! It was a picture perfect day and we started off the season with a win!

Players' field of dreams is Wrigley

The first minor league game played in Wrigley field and my nephew Jason pitched!


Jason Glushon was the star pitcher of the night for the Cougars, tossing three innings in relief of starter Jamie Richmond.

He allowed two hits and struck out four, but will be the pitcher of record when the game resumes after the Chiefs tied the game in the bottom of the eighth on a sacrifice fly by Luis Flores.

Nonetheless, he gave the bullpen a much-needed rest -- for now at least -- with Richmond lasting just 4 1/3 innings before being lifted.

"He went out and threw his pitches and showed a lot of confidence," Nieckula said. "He is a big part of our success in this game."

Former Harvard-Westlake star Glushon chases big-league dream

The obnoxious Aunt has to share this incredibly fabulous article in the Los Angeles Daily News!

My Nephew Jason Gets Called up to Triple AAA

Sacramento River Cats Stadium


Jason signing autographs




Line up for the Las Vegas 51's (The Dodgers Triple AAA Team)




Rob and Suzi trying to stay warm in the absolutely frigid night

Opening Day March 30, 2008

Russell Martin Gets Award!

My Nieces: Elyse visitng from Spain and Jessie visiting from Portland

My Nieces with my Girls

My Younger Nephew Jason in Spring Training

Not on the major league team yet but he's working on it!!

My Oldest Nephew Gary Talking with Barack after the Democratic Debate in LA

Aunt Bonnie is soooooooooo jealous!

Gary and Barack

Carol Hart Glushon October 16th 1931 - June 24th 2003

I want to thank everyone for coming here today. My family and I are very fortunate to have so many friends that care about us. I especially want to thank those of you who did not know my mother but are here to support myself and my family. It’s easy to be a friend during the fun times but only a true friend extends themselves during the difficult ones. Additionally I thank my brother and sister in law’s friends that have had to attend two funerals this week. You all have been so kind to my sister and I and we really appreciate the comfort you have provided.

It’s no secret that my mother and I had an extremely challenging relationship. But as bad as it could be was also as incredible as it was.

The road we traveled was a rocky one but we never would have made it as far as we did if it wasn’t built on a foundation of love and respect. There’s a song called “You and me against the world” that my parents considered to be “their song” but it became our song after my dad died. We truly felt that it was the two of us against the world. Although to the outside world we may not have always appeared to be close when push came to shove we stood together when times were tough and celebrated the successes side by side.

My mother was my biggest fan and my biggest critic and I guess I was the same with her. As with any intense and passionate relationship it was a struggle to make it work. But like anything worthwhile the obstacles we overcame only reinforced our bond.

She taught me so much and we are so similar.

I learned that I don’t have to wait in lines. She would say “act like you own the place and you can gain entrance in anywhere.” And if that doesn’t work, slip someone some cash and watch the door open!

Say things with conviction and everyone will believe you.

I learned that there is always a way to accomplish my objectives. I might need to be clever or assertive or approach the task from multiple directions but one way or another I can always do what I set out to do.

She always said “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”
My mother didn’t know what the word moderation means. She was extreme in everything she did. She smoked too much, drank too much and don’t even talk about her shopping skills. I mean her theory was if you like a pair of shoes, why not buy them in 3 or 4 colors. All of her relationships were extreme as well. If you were on her team you couldn’t ask for a more passionate, protective and devoted ally.

She was so smart. She had incredible instincts and was right more often than not. My mother was so articulate and had a wonderful vocabulary.
Even in her last days when her ability to communicate was limited she often chose multi syllable obscure words to make a point. I thought I knew my mother well but I was lucky to learn something new about her in her last few months. She had a hell of a great sense of humor! I truly never saw or had the opportunity to see how funny she was. Last week we asked her if she was in any pain, she looked up, raised her eyebrows and said “only when I breathe”.

Most of you know that my mother’s greatest disappointment in me was that I hadn’t got married and had children. But this was not for lack of her trying. One time we were flying to NY and I had fallen asleep. When I woke up there was this guy sitting next to me that my mother had found for me so she traded seats with him.

Work was always her greatest passion whether she was running her store or when she was an outside sales rep or at Sales Producers. She opened her first location of The Party Girl in 1968 and went on to open 3 more before she sold the last store in 1981. My favorite Party Girl story was an example of how she could manipulate a situation magnificently with great finesse. She opened the Encino store with Hallmark as a staple supplier. To do that, she had to commit to carrying a certain amount of Hallmark fixtures and merchandise. But my mother was a rebel by nature and though she enjoyed the Hallmark name recognition she wanted to do what she wanted with her store. As she put it, “she paid the rent not Hallmark.” So after some of the Hallmark product sold down she would replace that space with new trend setting lines. When she opened each new store the Hallmark rep would say “Carol, we can’t sell to you and you can’t use the Hallmark name on your signage because you refuse to carry the percentage of Hallmark product we require”. She would smile and say “you’re absolutely right, I made a mistake and I’m going to do it right this time”. Then of course she would do what she wanted to.

She carried many categories of product not typically sold in a card/gift shop. In the 70’s when “self help” books were the rage, my mother brought a number of different titles in and sold them right off her front counter. When turquoise jewelry or charm holder necklaces were hot, The Party Girl had them front and center. Granted the Book store in the shopping center complained that she shouldn’t be selling books and the jewelry store complained that she shouldn’t be allowed to sell jewelry but in time everyone became resigned to the fact that Carol was going to carry whatever Carol wanted to carry.

Sales Producers story – When we started SP and we would pitch suppliers to hire us they would ask “how many reps we had” Carol would say 6 and I would cringe since we didn’t have any in the beginning it was just the 2 of us. Her theory was get the line, we’ll worry about the rest later. Until we could hire people my roommate at the time would rewrite orders I had written as though she were a rep. Carol and I always thought it was so funny that our suppliers were so happy with the job we did when half the orders the suppliers received were written by fictitious reps.

I think the one thing about my mother that few people know is how insecure she was. She masked it by her bravado but deep down my mother really cared what people thought of her. If she felt that someone didn’t like her she might seem cold and disinterested. In fact, she was just afraid of being rejected.

I always found it amazing that someone who appeared so strong and confident was so deeply hurt when she felt that she wasn’t included or accepted

I’m grateful for the amazing relationship we had and the last few weeks full of laughter and memorable moments were icing on the cake. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to wait until the end to say all of the things I wanted to say. I came across quite a few cards that I had sent my mother over the years and time and time again I shared my feelings with her. In fact I found a Mother’s Day card that I had sent her a few years back.

My mother loved to go to the movies, The American President and When Harry met Sally were two of her favorites, she must have seen both dozens and dozens of times and new every word in the script.

She loved Spago and Bob’s Big Boy

She loved Cream Soda and Chocolate covered raisins

She loved the Dodgers and Vin Scully

She loved Danielle Steele and Lifetime the channel for woman

She loved to drink, smoke, gamble and shop

She loved me to cook for her