Carol Hart Glushon October 16th 1931 - June 24th 2003

I want to thank everyone for coming here today. My family and I are very fortunate to have so many friends that care about us. I especially want to thank those of you who did not know my mother but are here to support myself and my family. It’s easy to be a friend during the fun times but only a true friend extends themselves during the difficult ones. Additionally I thank my brother and sister in law’s friends that have had to attend two funerals this week. You all have been so kind to my sister and I and we really appreciate the comfort you have provided.

It’s no secret that my mother and I had an extremely challenging relationship. But as bad as it could be was also as incredible as it was.

The road we traveled was a rocky one but we never would have made it as far as we did if it wasn’t built on a foundation of love and respect. There’s a song called “You and me against the world” that my parents considered to be “their song” but it became our song after my dad died. We truly felt that it was the two of us against the world. Although to the outside world we may not have always appeared to be close when push came to shove we stood together when times were tough and celebrated the successes side by side.

My mother was my biggest fan and my biggest critic and I guess I was the same with her. As with any intense and passionate relationship it was a struggle to make it work. But like anything worthwhile the obstacles we overcame only reinforced our bond.

She taught me so much and we are so similar.

I learned that I don’t have to wait in lines. She would say “act like you own the place and you can gain entrance in anywhere.” And if that doesn’t work, slip someone some cash and watch the door open!

Say things with conviction and everyone will believe you.

I learned that there is always a way to accomplish my objectives. I might need to be clever or assertive or approach the task from multiple directions but one way or another I can always do what I set out to do.

She always said “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”
My mother didn’t know what the word moderation means. She was extreme in everything she did. She smoked too much, drank too much and don’t even talk about her shopping skills. I mean her theory was if you like a pair of shoes, why not buy them in 3 or 4 colors. All of her relationships were extreme as well. If you were on her team you couldn’t ask for a more passionate, protective and devoted ally.

She was so smart. She had incredible instincts and was right more often than not. My mother was so articulate and had a wonderful vocabulary.
Even in her last days when her ability to communicate was limited she often chose multi syllable obscure words to make a point. I thought I knew my mother well but I was lucky to learn something new about her in her last few months. She had a hell of a great sense of humor! I truly never saw or had the opportunity to see how funny she was. Last week we asked her if she was in any pain, she looked up, raised her eyebrows and said “only when I breathe”.

Most of you know that my mother’s greatest disappointment in me was that I hadn’t got married and had children. But this was not for lack of her trying. One time we were flying to NY and I had fallen asleep. When I woke up there was this guy sitting next to me that my mother had found for me so she traded seats with him.

Work was always her greatest passion whether she was running her store or when she was an outside sales rep or at Sales Producers. She opened her first location of The Party Girl in 1968 and went on to open 3 more before she sold the last store in 1981. My favorite Party Girl story was an example of how she could manipulate a situation magnificently with great finesse. She opened the Encino store with Hallmark as a staple supplier. To do that, she had to commit to carrying a certain amount of Hallmark fixtures and merchandise. But my mother was a rebel by nature and though she enjoyed the Hallmark name recognition she wanted to do what she wanted with her store. As she put it, “she paid the rent not Hallmark.” So after some of the Hallmark product sold down she would replace that space with new trend setting lines. When she opened each new store the Hallmark rep would say “Carol, we can’t sell to you and you can’t use the Hallmark name on your signage because you refuse to carry the percentage of Hallmark product we require”. She would smile and say “you’re absolutely right, I made a mistake and I’m going to do it right this time”. Then of course she would do what she wanted to.

She carried many categories of product not typically sold in a card/gift shop. In the 70’s when “self help” books were the rage, my mother brought a number of different titles in and sold them right off her front counter. When turquoise jewelry or charm holder necklaces were hot, The Party Girl had them front and center. Granted the Book store in the shopping center complained that she shouldn’t be selling books and the jewelry store complained that she shouldn’t be allowed to sell jewelry but in time everyone became resigned to the fact that Carol was going to carry whatever Carol wanted to carry.

Sales Producers story – When we started SP and we would pitch suppliers to hire us they would ask “how many reps we had” Carol would say 6 and I would cringe since we didn’t have any in the beginning it was just the 2 of us. Her theory was get the line, we’ll worry about the rest later. Until we could hire people my roommate at the time would rewrite orders I had written as though she were a rep. Carol and I always thought it was so funny that our suppliers were so happy with the job we did when half the orders the suppliers received were written by fictitious reps.

I think the one thing about my mother that few people know is how insecure she was. She masked it by her bravado but deep down my mother really cared what people thought of her. If she felt that someone didn’t like her she might seem cold and disinterested. In fact, she was just afraid of being rejected.

I always found it amazing that someone who appeared so strong and confident was so deeply hurt when she felt that she wasn’t included or accepted

I’m grateful for the amazing relationship we had and the last few weeks full of laughter and memorable moments were icing on the cake. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to wait until the end to say all of the things I wanted to say. I came across quite a few cards that I had sent my mother over the years and time and time again I shared my feelings with her. In fact I found a Mother’s Day card that I had sent her a few years back.

My mother loved to go to the movies, The American President and When Harry met Sally were two of her favorites, she must have seen both dozens and dozens of times and new every word in the script.

She loved Spago and Bob’s Big Boy

She loved Cream Soda and Chocolate covered raisins

She loved the Dodgers and Vin Scully

She loved Danielle Steele and Lifetime the channel for woman

She loved to drink, smoke, gamble and shop

She loved me to cook for her

September 11th, 2001

Reading this so many years later I recall how these words just poured out

September 15, 2001

I woke up a tad later than normal, about 7:15. My spirit was the lowest it had ever been for the most extended period of time in my memory. Waking up was actually painful since it meant another day to face. I don’t remember the last day that I didn’t shed a tear. Until Tuesday 9-11-01 On that day I was numb and couldn't cry and believe me I wish I could have cried.

I make coffee, feed the girls turn on the TV and…no it couldn’t be. A movie, a joke or was it real? The World Trade Center…in what country, no it can’t be possible. Staring stunned, incomprehensible it just can’t be true. Terrorists, planes, hijacked just all seemed like words just words not reality.

It took about twenty minutes to begin to put the pieces together. Four planes were hijacked. Two flew directly into the World Trade Center. First one then twenty minutes later came the second. A third flew into the Pentagon and a fourth crashed in Pittsburgh for some reason missing its target. Throughout the day the stories were told.

Over 5,000 dead or as they still put it five days later 5,000 people “missing” but will they be found? In one piece or many, they are now requesting hairbrushes, toothbrushes or used utensils so that DNA can be used to identify people. It’s beyond what one can digest so we all sit and stare at our TV’s without much being able to pry us away. Everything seems trivial when you have seen and heard stories of people jumping from windows. To die in the flames or by crashing to the ground, neither seems like an option any human should have to choose between.

Even as I sit here five days later, it still is just completely beyond anything one could imagine. I must have seen the footage of those planes flying into those buildings 100 times but still it seems so unreal. But I digress….

Not too long after the World Trade Center buildings were flown into…the words still shock me as I write them….the Pentagon was hit. They say now that the mission was to hit the White house or Air force One and it missed. The one that crashed is said to be a case where the passengers to overtake the terrorists and somehow got the plane to crash rather than hit another site. This information all came from people in the planes calling loved ones from their cell phones.

Details, details you can read those in the history books. Life as we know it will never be the same.

Tuesday I was just in a daze. We closed the office and then one by one we saw on the news that buildings and communities were just shutting down, evacuating. Who knew what would be the next target. It seemed like the longest day, just never ending and feeling as if it would go on forever. Waking up on Wednesday was waking up to a nightmare. It was true; it did happen it was real. Then the tears began and haven’t stopped since. Watching the family members search in vain for their loved ones. See the pain on their faces, hear the stories. It’s just impossible to accept. I went to the gym on Wednesday morning. I guess half believing that if I acted like everything was okay – it would be. I think I also was starved for a connection to another human being. How, with all that has happened can I possibly feel sorry for myself absolutely amazes me…but I do. The loneliness becomes more acute when disaster hits. Everyone is seeking the connection to their loved ones and I had no one to comfort or was there someone to comfort me.

September 16, 2001
It’s Sunday night and I realized two very odd things happened yesterday. It was the first day since the attack that I heard planes fly above and commercials were back in TV. Up until yesterday it was just 24/7 news regarding the devastation from every approach. No weather, no sports no other news except what was related to the tragedy. Tonight is the first time I have watched TV that wasn’t related to crisis. At 9:00, after Dateline came Law and Order. It seemed fitting to have the first show I watched to be based in NY and see the skyline as it once was.

Alberta

Knowing doesn’t make it easier
Every life comes to an end
But, there still was so much more time to spend

It was New Years Day 1992
Another day for Sadie and I to share
Dog park at 8:00am
We started the day as a pair
But the day would end a threesome
Alberta as she was named later, was coming home
We turned out to be quite the combination
Now I’ll never be alone

She grew so fast, all legs at first
Shy and timid but in time her personality would burst
Although Alberta grew quite large
Sadie was still in charge
But size didn’t matter
They became very attached
Best friends forever
They were a perfect match

The three of us became a family
All with quirks, flaws and moods
A combination of all sorts of ingredients
So many stood in judgment but they didn’t have a clue

She loved to run and play
Off leash was no problem
Alberta would never go away
By my side or within sight
If it were up to her we would be together all day and all night

In the car she loved to go
Sticking her head out the sunroof never the window
Sadie on my lap and Alberta to my right
As long as we were together each moment was like a ray of light

We had our routine that was hard to break
If it’s 7:00am it’s breakfast time
And Alberta didn’t like to wait
She would talk until I couldn’t stand it anymore
Demanding to start our day
Nothing was going to ever make Alberta go away
Only then would Sadie pop her head out from under the covers
To the kitchen she would always lead the way

Without notice the end was near
I was overwhelmed with fear
On May 10th 2001 she died
And I stayed until her last breath by her side

Lily Visiting in December 2007

My Blog

It was probably 2 or so years ago when I first began to read about Blogs and I thought it sounded like a very cool idea. I wanted to start one but couldn't figure out what I would say, a point of view or a specific topic maybe? Unable to come up with something unbelievably provocative I never did anything. So, finally I decided the best thing to do was just to start one and see where it would lead. I knew I didn't want to write a personal journal and share my soul with the world or at least the very tiny portion of the world that might fall upon my blog. My areas of expertise are marketing and sales but I knew I didn't want to write about work. So, I decided to just start writing and see where it led me. That said...obviously I haven't found my niche yet but we'll see what happens.

Mona Joins the Family October 2007

Top 10 Best Albums

Traffic - Low Spark of High Heeled Boys
Elton John - Tumbleweed Connection
Bowie - Ziggy Stardust or Aladin Sane (sorry I just cant pick one)
The Who - Who's Next
Buffalo Springfield - Retrospective
Loggin's and Messina - Sitti'n In
Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young - Deja vu
The Vaughn Brothers - Family Style
Cat Stevens - Tea for the Tillerman
John Mayer - Room for Squares

Delaney Arrives April 2006

Sadie and Molly

Best Song Lists

Working Out
Best pedal to the metal, full steam ahead or running on empty songs
Mott the Hoople - All the Way From Memphis
Bowie - Hang on to Yourself, Rock and Roll Star, Panic in Detroit
Joss Stone - "Tell me 'bout it"
Isley Brothers - Fight the Power, Harvest for the World
Elvis Costello - Pump it up
Deep Purple - Highway Star
T Rex - Jeepster
Led Zeppelin - The Song Remains the Same, Communication Breakdown
Grass Roots - Midnight Confessions
Paolo Nutini - New Shoes


Working Out
Kicking it, in the zone, feeling good, just keep the music fuel coming songs
Loggins and Messina - Vahevala, Back to Georgia
Elton John - Susie, Gotta Get a Meal Ticket
Al Green - Love and Happiness
Cat Stevens - Bitterblue
America - Riverside, Three Roses
Traffic - Glad
Isley Brothers - Harvest for the World
Boz Scaggs - Georgia
Eric Clapton - San Francisco Bay Blues, Signe
Beatles - The Night Before, I Need You,
Grass Roots - Temptation Eyes
Stevie Wonder - Higher Ground, Too High
Vaughan Brothers - Hard to Be
Rick Springfield, Love is Alright Tonight
Jethro Tull - Nothing is Easy
Beck - Think I'm in Love
Bowie - Station to Station
Chicago - 25 or 6 to 4

All Time Favorite Songs
Buffalo Springfield - Rock and Roll Woman
Todd Rundgren - We Gotta Get You a Woman, I Saw the Light
Barbra Streisand - Don't Rain on my Parade
Gladys Knight & The Pips, If I Were Your Woman
Robert Palmer - Looking for Clues
Janis Ian - At Seventeen
Neil Sedaka - Crossroads, Hungry Years
Blind Faith - Can't Find My Way Back Home

This Date in History

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon

I'm not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything. I've always been a freak. So I've been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know. I'm one of those people. John Lennon

Sadie died last year and John Lennon was killed this day 27 years ago. He was killed 2 weeks after my father died and I knew my world as I knew it was over. 11/18/80, the night my father died was probably the worst night of my life followed by 12/8/80 and 12/8/06. It's hard to explain and I know most people don't and can't understand. When my father died I didn't quite grasp the magnitude of the event but I instinctively recognized everything would be different and not in a good way. Only many years later was I able to understand the significance and undeniable pivotal change that had occurred. When John Lennon was killed it was if the cloud surrounding me after my dad died disappeared. All of a sudden it became real. How could great men that only brought good things to this world be cut down and eliminated quicker than one could snap their finger. It seemed then and still seems now so surreal and unfair. But, as my father reminded me so often, life isn't fair. When my beloved Sadie died on 12/8 it somehow seemed appropriate she would leave me on that day. She was headstrong & independent, lovable & kind, spirited, devilish and courageous! She inspired me tremendously as did John Lennon. Although I would like to say that I could celebrate their lives today, instead I am sad. It's been a rough week but no need to go into details. Instead, tomorrow is a new day and who knows what unexpected surprises may be in store for me. Hopefully good things.

Best Anti-War/Political Songs

Chicago - Crosby, Stills & Nash http://music.yahoo.com/Crosby-Stills--Nash/Chicago/lyrics/530388,

Golden Ribbon's - Loggins and Messina http://www.rhapsody.com/logginsandmessina/logginsandmessina/goldenribbons/lyrics.html,

Harvest for the World - Isley Brothers http://music.yahoo.com/The-Isley-Brothers/Harvest-For-The-World/lyrics/7459257,

Peaceful World - John Mellencamp http://music.yahoo.com/John-Mellencamp/Peaceful-World/lyrics/22460558

Jon Stewart on War Affluence April 2007 PBS Bill Moyers Journal

Sadie & Alberta

First there was Sadie in August of 1990, then Alberta came January 1 1992

Jon Stewart on Crossfire 2004 Election