Carol Hart Glushon October 16th 1931 - June 24th 2003

I want to thank everyone for coming here today. My family and I are very fortunate to have so many friends that care about us. I especially want to thank those of you who did not know my mother but are here to support myself and my family. It’s easy to be a friend during the fun times but only a true friend extends themselves during the difficult ones. Additionally I thank my brother and sister in law’s friends that have had to attend two funerals this week. You all have been so kind to my sister and I and we really appreciate the comfort you have provided.

It’s no secret that my mother and I had an extremely challenging relationship. But as bad as it could be was also as incredible as it was.

The road we traveled was a rocky one but we never would have made it as far as we did if it wasn’t built on a foundation of love and respect. There’s a song called “You and me against the world” that my parents considered to be “their song” but it became our song after my dad died. We truly felt that it was the two of us against the world. Although to the outside world we may not have always appeared to be close when push came to shove we stood together when times were tough and celebrated the successes side by side.

My mother was my biggest fan and my biggest critic and I guess I was the same with her. As with any intense and passionate relationship it was a struggle to make it work. But like anything worthwhile the obstacles we overcame only reinforced our bond.

She taught me so much and we are so similar.

I learned that I don’t have to wait in lines. She would say “act like you own the place and you can gain entrance in anywhere.” And if that doesn’t work, slip someone some cash and watch the door open!

Say things with conviction and everyone will believe you.

I learned that there is always a way to accomplish my objectives. I might need to be clever or assertive or approach the task from multiple directions but one way or another I can always do what I set out to do.

She always said “if you don’t ask, you don’t get”
My mother didn’t know what the word moderation means. She was extreme in everything she did. She smoked too much, drank too much and don’t even talk about her shopping skills. I mean her theory was if you like a pair of shoes, why not buy them in 3 or 4 colors. All of her relationships were extreme as well. If you were on her team you couldn’t ask for a more passionate, protective and devoted ally.

She was so smart. She had incredible instincts and was right more often than not. My mother was so articulate and had a wonderful vocabulary.
Even in her last days when her ability to communicate was limited she often chose multi syllable obscure words to make a point. I thought I knew my mother well but I was lucky to learn something new about her in her last few months. She had a hell of a great sense of humor! I truly never saw or had the opportunity to see how funny she was. Last week we asked her if she was in any pain, she looked up, raised her eyebrows and said “only when I breathe”.

Most of you know that my mother’s greatest disappointment in me was that I hadn’t got married and had children. But this was not for lack of her trying. One time we were flying to NY and I had fallen asleep. When I woke up there was this guy sitting next to me that my mother had found for me so she traded seats with him.

Work was always her greatest passion whether she was running her store or when she was an outside sales rep or at Sales Producers. She opened her first location of The Party Girl in 1968 and went on to open 3 more before she sold the last store in 1981. My favorite Party Girl story was an example of how she could manipulate a situation magnificently with great finesse. She opened the Encino store with Hallmark as a staple supplier. To do that, she had to commit to carrying a certain amount of Hallmark fixtures and merchandise. But my mother was a rebel by nature and though she enjoyed the Hallmark name recognition she wanted to do what she wanted with her store. As she put it, “she paid the rent not Hallmark.” So after some of the Hallmark product sold down she would replace that space with new trend setting lines. When she opened each new store the Hallmark rep would say “Carol, we can’t sell to you and you can’t use the Hallmark name on your signage because you refuse to carry the percentage of Hallmark product we require”. She would smile and say “you’re absolutely right, I made a mistake and I’m going to do it right this time”. Then of course she would do what she wanted to.

She carried many categories of product not typically sold in a card/gift shop. In the 70’s when “self help” books were the rage, my mother brought a number of different titles in and sold them right off her front counter. When turquoise jewelry or charm holder necklaces were hot, The Party Girl had them front and center. Granted the Book store in the shopping center complained that she shouldn’t be selling books and the jewelry store complained that she shouldn’t be allowed to sell jewelry but in time everyone became resigned to the fact that Carol was going to carry whatever Carol wanted to carry.

Sales Producers story – When we started SP and we would pitch suppliers to hire us they would ask “how many reps we had” Carol would say 6 and I would cringe since we didn’t have any in the beginning it was just the 2 of us. Her theory was get the line, we’ll worry about the rest later. Until we could hire people my roommate at the time would rewrite orders I had written as though she were a rep. Carol and I always thought it was so funny that our suppliers were so happy with the job we did when half the orders the suppliers received were written by fictitious reps.

I think the one thing about my mother that few people know is how insecure she was. She masked it by her bravado but deep down my mother really cared what people thought of her. If she felt that someone didn’t like her she might seem cold and disinterested. In fact, she was just afraid of being rejected.

I always found it amazing that someone who appeared so strong and confident was so deeply hurt when she felt that she wasn’t included or accepted

I’m grateful for the amazing relationship we had and the last few weeks full of laughter and memorable moments were icing on the cake. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to wait until the end to say all of the things I wanted to say. I came across quite a few cards that I had sent my mother over the years and time and time again I shared my feelings with her. In fact I found a Mother’s Day card that I had sent her a few years back.

My mother loved to go to the movies, The American President and When Harry met Sally were two of her favorites, she must have seen both dozens and dozens of times and new every word in the script.

She loved Spago and Bob’s Big Boy

She loved Cream Soda and Chocolate covered raisins

She loved the Dodgers and Vin Scully

She loved Danielle Steele and Lifetime the channel for woman

She loved to drink, smoke, gamble and shop

She loved me to cook for her